


Golden

by Skyelo_Ren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (there's actually two beds but rey is quite pragmatic), F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Gratuitous Hand Holding, Post-Canon, ben solo is a huge nerd, there's only one bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 23:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20397574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyelo_Ren/pseuds/Skyelo_Ren
Summary: Fluff with very little plot. Ben and Rey wake up in the medbay after a battle. She refuses to let his spiralling inner monologue distract her from her goals.





	Golden

Ben woke suddenly, but quietly. He stretched out reflexively into the Force and perceived no immediate threat. Still, he waited several long seconds before slowly releasing the breath he was holding.

She was here. He sensed her steady presence by his bedside. Felt the slight dip of his mattress under her upper body. Heard the soft squeak of her chair as she shifted in her sleep.

It only took a moment for him to piece it all together. A battle: smoke, laserfire, the stench of blood. Rey’s back pressed solidly against him, the hum of her lightsaber resonating with the crackle of his. A vibroblade in his thigh and another, coming from seemingly nowhere, to his gut. The aching bliss of _finally_, an eternity later, reaching the end and allowing unconsciousness to take him.

They weren’t on Geonosis anymore. The daylight streaming in from the high windows was golden, not the harsh orange that they had fought under for endless weeks. That meant he had been transported, against all odds, on a Resistance ship. To a Resistance medical base. To receive medical care from Resistance droids.

And she was here.

He couldn’t bear to look at her yet. Not now, when it was still so quiet. His connection with Rey had never been quiet. Even in moments of stillness it felt like electricity; desperation; the calm before a cataclysmic storm. What was left, when all of that painful anticipation had been played out? He was suddenly impossibly grateful that she was still asleep. He needed time, a great deal of it, to parse out everything he needed to say to her. This couldn’t be rushed, or--

“Hi,” Rey said.

His eyes snapped to her before he had a chance to remember that he had decided not to look in that direction yet. She sat up straight in her chair and lifted her arms in a half-sleepy stretch. She winced when she twisted to the right.

Ben cleared his throat slightly before speaking. “You’re injured.” His voice croaked anyway. “You should be in bed.”

“Mine’s over there.” She tossed her head to indicate a screen behind her, separating his own cubicle from an identical medibed area. “It seemed really far away. I wanted to see when you woke up.”

Rey leaned forward again and rested her elbows on the edge of his mattress. Her right hand dropped to land, unerringly, on top of his own. The gesture was heart-stoppingly intimate, even though they were separated by the thin blanket that covered him. The fact that she knew exactly where to find his hand…

Had she been holding him like that, while he slept? How long exactly had she been watching him?

He felt his ears grow hot and mentally checked that they were covered by his hair.

“What do you remember, about the end?” she asked, apparently oblivious to his impending implosion. “You were almost… you lost a lot of blood.”

He remembered. He acutely recalled the panic of hypovolaemic shock warring with the fear that he would drag her into oblivion with him. Ben had studied battle meditation for a long time, but before meeting Rey he hadn’t imagined how enticingly dangerous it could be. She was fearless, reckless: offering her strength unhesitatingly, and drinking from him greedily in return. It would have been so easy for them to get lost in each other. He remembered pulling back, being pulled in again, being pulled apart...

“I just remember you,” he said finally.

She smiled.

“Actually, I think it would be best if I did lie down. For my shoulder, you know.”

He barely had time to register the sting of disappointment. Rey stood and, rather than retreating to her own medibed as he expected, lifted his covers and slid under them beside him, pausing only to kick off her slippers. She wriggled against him insistently, leaving him no choice but to lift his arm out of the way and make room for her at his side. The displaced limb stretched out awkwardly behind her, avoiding contact.

Her face had tucked itself under his jaw, so she felt his nervous swallow.

She huffed. “Why are you acting like this is all new?”

“It is.”

“No.”

“Actually, yes.”

“No. I’ve seen you sleep. We’ve slept like this.”

He shifted uncomfortably, and she mercilessly used it as an opportunity to scooch even closer, pulling his errant arm in around her.

“That was different,” he said, uncertain.

“How? It was you. It was me.”

“It felt like a dream.”

“It wasn’t, though. You’ve always been real to me. There’s you -- no matter where you are -- and then there’s everything else.”

Ben shifted to rest his lips against the crown of her head in an almost-kiss. “The war was real. _Is_ real. And I can’t ignore the fact that I was, _am_, on the losing side.”

“We’re on the same side,” Rey said defiantly. Possessively. “Always.”

“Maybe.” He bit the inside of his cheek, considering his next argument. There were so many reasons why he shouldn’t be part of this world, shouldn’t be lying here in the quiet, holding her. He settled for pointing out the most simple one. “Your friends don’t like me.”

“Mmm. Well, to be fair, you always act like a pretentious kriffwich around them.”

Ben almost choked on his own indignance. “Kriffwich..?”

“And then there’s the whole ‘Supreme Leader of the First Order’ thing… actually, maybe that’s the main issue, rather than the pretentiousness...”

“_Kriffwich_?”

Rey sighed. “Look, I’m not the one who came up with it.”

“Who then? Dameron? I swear...”

“No, it wasn’t him. Shh.” She lifted up onto an elbow so her face hovered above him, and used her free hand to pick at the neckline of his shirt. “It doesn’t matter. And, if it helps, _I_ like the way you smell. A lot. I want to--”

“Well _of course_ you do. My personal hygiene is _impeccable_. You tell your moronic friends--”

“Ben--”

“--that their _entire base_ smells like a herd of banthas have been nesting here for millennia. _And_, furthermore--”

“BEN, just, shush for a minute. Can I kiss you?”

Looking back, he really had no idea how the conversation had gotten to this point. His first thought was that she was just teasing him. But, for the first time since he woke up, he sensed a hint of shyness from her.

Rey released her grip on his shirt and laid her palm flat against his chest. Her index finger traced light circles in the divot between his collarbones. Her eyes watched his face intently, instinctively knowing that he needed some time to process her request.

And here was Ben’s great dilemma, because the more time that he spent ruminating over this new world he had found himself in, the more time he took trying to figure out who he was supposed to be now… the less time he would have to answer her.

He didn’t know what kind of man he would or should be in a year, or ten, or fifty. But it was suddenly painfully obvious who he should be right now. In this moment, in this bed, with this woman who had seen the very worst parts of him and had decided to want him anyway. Who was willing to wait patiently for his answer, even though she had already done far too much waiting.

He should be kissing her.

Ben smiled. “Yes,” he tried to say, but it came out muffled because Rey’s lips were already on his.

He’d imagined her lips many times, so he expected their softness, but he was delightfully surprised by their insistence. She kissed him the same way she fought beside him. Dauntless, confident; a perfect partner who knew exactly when to take, when to give, when to retreat so they could catch their breath.

She looked incredibly satisfied with herself when they broke apart, and the brilliance of her smile made his chest ache with fullness.

“You smell good too,” he said, and immediately wanted to roll his eyes at himself.

Rey giggled, though, and the happy sound send a jolt of pride through him. She leaned down to kiss him again, but it was quick, and her expression turned curious. “Have you done that before?”

_No_, Ben wanted to say. _Nothing like that has ever happened before, to anyone._

“Once,” he admitted instead.

Rey slid off him, nestling back against his side. Her fingers found his and laced between them. He couldn’t see her smile anymore, but it lingered in her voice. “Just once? You mean you don’t constantly draw people in with your ‘impeccable’ hygiene?”

“I’m sure I do. I just don’t kiss them.”

“Good. I’m glad. You should keep… not doing that.”

“Noted.”

“Do you get what I mean?”

“Yes.”

“Really, though?”

“...yes?”

“I’m saying that I want you to kiss only me.”

“Okay.”

“Forever.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll know if you kiss someone else.”

“I know you’ll know.”

“So, don’t.”

“I have absolutely no intention to.”

That finally satisfied her, and they were silent for a long time. Rey dozed on and off, lifting her face to be kissed again whenever she briefly returned to consciousness. Having finally been given time to plan what to say to her, Ben found that he couldn’t think of anything to tell her that she didn’t already know.

“How long do you think we can stay here like this?” she murmured sleepily, when the sunlight had begun to turn orange after all.

Ben rubbed his nose against hers. “Fifty two years and four months.”

She pulled back slightly, more awake now. “Oh. Uh. That’s... specific?”

He shrugged. “The average life expectancy of a male born on a Core world between 3 BBY and 11 ABY is eighty two point five years.”

“Right. Yeah. That’s definitely the information I was looking for, you totally normal person.” She shifted away from him, avoiding putting any weight on her injured arm, and swung around to stand. “We should probably go and get some food, then. I wouldn’t want you to clock in below average because of malnutrition.”

Ben stood too, though it took him significantly longer to navigate his injuries. Rey rushed around to his side of the bed, ostensibly to help, but then she started kissing him again and he had quite a bit of difficulty remembering why they ever made the ridiculous decision to leave the bed.

It seemed a long time later that they finally put themselves together enough to roam out in search of the mess hall. Rey tugged him to a halt before he could reach the door.

“Was that true,” she half-whispered, “about just fifty two years?”

“Don’t worry,” he said, squeezing her hand. “We’ll figure something out.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to 'Daylight' by Taylor Swift on repeat while writing this. But every time I try to write pure fluff with these two it turns out just a wee bit angsty.


End file.
